Concentric Counselling
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welcome to the concentric journal

 
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Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story

When people come to Concentric Counselling with a history of bingeing, they are often surprised that one of the first things I ask them is how often they restrict their food intake. To them, they are coming because the issue is bingeing. But what continues to reveal itself in the therapy room is that for many people that struggle with bingeing these episodes punctuate long periods of restriction.

The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations
The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations

Let me share with you some more details of the exciting model that I’ve been developing. Called Body Collaboration, it has emerged from my practice over the last ten years, a compassionate response to clients sharing a persistent issue - ‘I’m trying to hate myself into being ok with myself’. Body Collaboration is a pushback to a kyriarchal culture that teaches us to admonish ourselves rather than accept ourselves. It’s a radical practice of gathering in the most abandoned parts of ourselves, and offering them healing. And it’s a lovesong to what I think is the most powerful thing on Earth – partnership, collaboration, working together for the good of the all.

Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery
Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery

I often meet clients when they're in a particular spot... they’ve turned their back on intentional weight loss, knowing that going back into that way of life will only cause harm and open them up to risk. At the same time, they don't know how to transition into a space of body acceptance, knowing that there will also be loss in that decision.

From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions
From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions

In my corner of the world, we talk a lot about anti-fat bias or fatphobia and, more broadly, how it is to live in a body that is marginalised by dominant culture – through race, gender and sex, body size or shape, or disability.

Sometimes our conversations about anti-fat bias can take on a very theoretical and abstract form – as a systemic issue, of course we often look at it through a wide-angle lens. More recently, though, I’ve been thinking more and more of the individual impact of anti-fat bias – what it really means to live in a fatphobic culture.

Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips
Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips

Overwhelm and burnout don’t just happen in Covid times – these are themes I’ve been working for since the very beginning of my counselling career. It’s when our nervous system becomes overloaded, and we really struggle to regulate ourselves; feeling either anxious and agitated, or zoned out and flat.

Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More
Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More

For those of you who follow me on Instagram or subscribe to my mailing list you will know that I have been building towards a space for therapists to come together and connect. I’m so happy today to be able to outline this a little more, and introduce this idea to you.

Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back
Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back

We're in an ebb season, collectively, I think. And we're not encouraged to think about this at all. The effects of the pandemic, here in the UK, have been upon us for eleven months. And what’s been so surprising is how little accommodation we will often make for this. We’re living in a global tragedy – a collective trauma. Life has, necessarily, had to recede. We have had to lean hard on our internal resources – our patience, our hope, our tenacity. Understandably, we’re feeling a little depleted.

Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 
Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 

The relentless treadmill of diet resolutions is about to crank itself up again, at the start of the new year. After all the festive food adverts, Boxing Day onwards will see the focus shift instead to weight loss programmes, diet foods and new ‘healthy eating’ cookbooks, sold to you by slim people. It is a predictable, exhausting cycle, which perpetuates unhealthy ‘all or nothing’ thinking, and punishing and unsustainable restriction.

A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance
A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance

And so begins December, the month where dominant culture tends to deep-slide into a clarion call for ‘indulgence’ before, as regular as clockwork, the adverts and articles that promise ‘new year, new you’. Christmas is an exaggerated example of the pendulum swing that diet culture encourages; ricocheting between too much and not enough – all governed by a deep fear that we ourselves are not enough.

Three ways in which humour can support our mental health #mhaw17

This blog series in in honour of Mental Health Awareness Week; this year their theme is on how we can thrive instead of simply surviving, and how so many factors intefere with our ability to enjoy a rich and full life. In this, the third post, I'm focusing on the need for humour, and how embracing humour can support good mental and emotional health.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive, and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.”
— Dr Maya Angelou

 

Have you ever considered why sitcoms use gag tracks? They do so because laughter is contagious; when those around us are laughing, it's very difficult to hold ourselves back from joining in. Laughing freely with others can be liberating, as it releases our inhibitions. Laughter connects us, allowing us to communicate without facade, and protecting against conflict, disagreement and anger. Finding common ground strengthens our bond with those around us, and bonding with others positively reduces our likelihood of depression, anxiety, and anger.

HUMOUR RELAXES US

Literally, it relaxes our bodies. A full, deep laugh relaxes our muscles and releases tension held in our bodies, with positive effects for up to forty five minutes. Laughter balances our nervous system, floods our body with happy-feeling endorphins, boosts our immune system and decreases pain levels. In other words, consider a good dose of laughter as your opportunity to recalibrate your system.

HUMOUR GROUNDS US

The ability to laugh at ourselves is much needed, and often lacking; put simply, we often take ourselves far too seriously. Often, this is as a way to protect ourselves - when our sense of self is fragile, allowing ourselves to laugh at ourselves can feel too raw, and too exposing. However, growing our ability to laugh at ourselves help to develop our resilience, leading to greater flexibility and ability to adapt. When we have a good sense of self, and feel comfortable with who we are, a small joke at our own expense feels less threatening and exposing, and our tolerance levels for our own imperfections grow. Greater tolerance leads to a more robust ability to withstand conflict and problems, and a greater ability to adapt to life's challenges.

A TIP TO HARNESS YOUR HUMOUR TO IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

Regular opportunities to laugh are your way to reset your system, so prioritise opportunities to do so. We can, understandably, become myopic, when faced with the demands of the modern world; we focus on the daily tasks, struggles, chores, work and responsibility. When we're feeling low, angry, stressed or sad, it can be difficult to feel like laughing. But any kind of laughter helps; laughing in a group, or laughing on your own, and even simulated laughter.

Build in plenty of different ways of laughing into your day. If you hear a group of people laughing at work, seek them out and join in the fun. Download a funny podcast to listen to on the commute. Call a funny friend and chat.. Head to a comedy club with your partner, some friends or colleagues. Watch some stand up, funny YouTube videos, or your favourite funny film. Start a Funny Book Club!

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this post, and think that counselling would help, do please contact me. For more details, or to arrange an initial consultation, call me on 07419 190930 or hello@concentriccounselling.com.

 

 

#mhaw17, Mental healthVicky Bellmanhumour, mhaw17, mental health foundation, mental health, mental health awareness week, maya angelouComment