Concentric Counselling
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Journal

 

welcome to the concentric journal

 
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Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story

When people come to Concentric Counselling with a history of bingeing, they are often surprised that one of the first things I ask them is how often they restrict their food intake. To them, they are coming because the issue is bingeing. But what continues to reveal itself in the therapy room is that for many people that struggle with bingeing these episodes punctuate long periods of restriction.

The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations
The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations

Let me share with you some more details of the exciting model that I’ve been developing. Called Body Collaboration, it has emerged from my practice over the last ten years, a compassionate response to clients sharing a persistent issue - ‘I’m trying to hate myself into being ok with myself’. Body Collaboration is a pushback to a kyriarchal culture that teaches us to admonish ourselves rather than accept ourselves. It’s a radical practice of gathering in the most abandoned parts of ourselves, and offering them healing. And it’s a lovesong to what I think is the most powerful thing on Earth – partnership, collaboration, working together for the good of the all.

Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery
Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery

I often meet clients when they're in a particular spot... they’ve turned their back on intentional weight loss, knowing that going back into that way of life will only cause harm and open them up to risk. At the same time, they don't know how to transition into a space of body acceptance, knowing that there will also be loss in that decision.

From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions
From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions

In my corner of the world, we talk a lot about anti-fat bias or fatphobia and, more broadly, how it is to live in a body that is marginalised by dominant culture – through race, gender and sex, body size or shape, or disability.

Sometimes our conversations about anti-fat bias can take on a very theoretical and abstract form – as a systemic issue, of course we often look at it through a wide-angle lens. More recently, though, I’ve been thinking more and more of the individual impact of anti-fat bias – what it really means to live in a fatphobic culture.

Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips
Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips

Overwhelm and burnout don’t just happen in Covid times – these are themes I’ve been working for since the very beginning of my counselling career. It’s when our nervous system becomes overloaded, and we really struggle to regulate ourselves; feeling either anxious and agitated, or zoned out and flat.

Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More
Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More

For those of you who follow me on Instagram or subscribe to my mailing list you will know that I have been building towards a space for therapists to come together and connect. I’m so happy today to be able to outline this a little more, and introduce this idea to you.

Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back
Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back

We're in an ebb season, collectively, I think. And we're not encouraged to think about this at all. The effects of the pandemic, here in the UK, have been upon us for eleven months. And what’s been so surprising is how little accommodation we will often make for this. We’re living in a global tragedy – a collective trauma. Life has, necessarily, had to recede. We have had to lean hard on our internal resources – our patience, our hope, our tenacity. Understandably, we’re feeling a little depleted.

Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 
Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 

The relentless treadmill of diet resolutions is about to crank itself up again, at the start of the new year. After all the festive food adverts, Boxing Day onwards will see the focus shift instead to weight loss programmes, diet foods and new ‘healthy eating’ cookbooks, sold to you by slim people. It is a predictable, exhausting cycle, which perpetuates unhealthy ‘all or nothing’ thinking, and punishing and unsustainable restriction.

A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance
A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance

And so begins December, the month where dominant culture tends to deep-slide into a clarion call for ‘indulgence’ before, as regular as clockwork, the adverts and articles that promise ‘new year, new you’. Christmas is an exaggerated example of the pendulum swing that diet culture encourages; ricocheting between too much and not enough – all governed by a deep fear that we ourselves are not enough.

Working within The Walled Nursery

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The Walled Nursery has been one of my favourite places for some time - Emma and Monty have done such a wonderful job creating a little nurturing, gentle haven. I love spending quiet minutes working slowly down the rows of plants in the gardens - so tactile to touch the plants and soil. The cafe is the perfect place for some nourishing food and delicious coffee. And sitting in the grounds is a great opportunity to take five minutes away from the rest of the world, and be able to breathe deeply.

 

So, when looking for new therapeutic space in the area, my eyes very quickly rested upon the little shepherd's hut in the grounds. I left one day clutching a contact number, with the intention of telephoning and discussing the possibility of sharing space with the woman who was currently using the hut for massage and reiki treatments. And, then, I didn't. I didn't make contact for a couple of weeks; nearly a month. That's ok - decisions don't need to be rushed, and important decisions sometimes take even more time.

As I sat with the decision, it made more and more sense to me. What does The Walled Nursery represent? A place of nurturing and care. A place of containment, boundaries and safety. A place of deep respect and patience, in which the natural urge for growth is honoured. These are powerful messages. It's important to find the right location for counselling - it's a place to be intimate, and the wrong surroundings can be inhibiting and restrictive. The more I thought about the nursery, the more I was inspired by how naturally therapeutic the nursery was. Nurturing, care, respect, patience, honour, containment, boundaries, safety... counselling. Because, of course, the implicit characteristics of the nursery also define, so wonderfully, the power and potential of counselling. A place to heal, to change and to grow.

Naturally, when I made the call, it all worked out beautifully. Emma and Monty have a really wonderful sense of responsibility and stewardship for the nursery; it makes the place feel very safe, and in extremely good hands. They have a vision for the nursery, and for the potential that it offers, that is exciting and inclusive; their welcome to me has been so lovely. The staff are friendly, warm and inviting. There is good parking, and the cafe and grounds act as a 'decompression chamber'; if you don't want to head straight out into the real world after a session, there is plenty of time to explore the rows of plants, to sit quietly in a corner with a coffee, or to browse in the glasshouses.

The Walled Nursery - certainly the most natural place for a counselling space!

 

The Walled NurseryVicky BellmanThe Walled Nursery, therapeutic space, nature, massage, reiki, Woodstock HolisticsComment