Concentric Counselling
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welcome to the concentric journal

 
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Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Fat Bubble: Bethany Rutter
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story
Why Bingeing is Only Half the Story

When people come to Concentric Counselling with a history of bingeing, they are often surprised that one of the first things I ask them is how often they restrict their food intake. To them, they are coming because the issue is bingeing. But what continues to reveal itself in the therapy room is that for many people that struggle with bingeing these episodes punctuate long periods of restriction.

The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations
The Heart of Body Collaboration - Intentions and Inspirations

Let me share with you some more details of the exciting model that I’ve been developing. Called Body Collaboration, it has emerged from my practice over the last ten years, a compassionate response to clients sharing a persistent issue - ‘I’m trying to hate myself into being ok with myself’. Body Collaboration is a pushback to a kyriarchal culture that teaches us to admonish ourselves rather than accept ourselves. It’s a radical practice of gathering in the most abandoned parts of ourselves, and offering them healing. And it’s a lovesong to what I think is the most powerful thing on Earth – partnership, collaboration, working together for the good of the all.

Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery
Sitting in the corridor - why it's a necessary part of recovery

I often meet clients when they're in a particular spot... they’ve turned their back on intentional weight loss, knowing that going back into that way of life will only cause harm and open them up to risk. At the same time, they don't know how to transition into a space of body acceptance, knowing that there will also be loss in that decision.

From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions
From apology to entitlement - battling body assumptions

In my corner of the world, we talk a lot about anti-fat bias or fatphobia and, more broadly, how it is to live in a body that is marginalised by dominant culture – through race, gender and sex, body size or shape, or disability.

Sometimes our conversations about anti-fat bias can take on a very theoretical and abstract form – as a systemic issue, of course we often look at it through a wide-angle lens. More recently, though, I’ve been thinking more and more of the individual impact of anti-fat bias – what it really means to live in a fatphobic culture.

Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips
Sensory Five - safety at your fingertips

Overwhelm and burnout don’t just happen in Covid times – these are themes I’ve been working for since the very beginning of my counselling career. It’s when our nervous system becomes overloaded, and we really struggle to regulate ourselves; feeling either anxious and agitated, or zoned out and flat.

Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More
Introducing A Modern Practice - Let Me Tell You More

For those of you who follow me on Instagram or subscribe to my mailing list you will know that I have been building towards a space for therapists to come together and connect. I’m so happy today to be able to outline this a little more, and introduce this idea to you.

Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back
Lessons from the ebb - how to get through when life draws back

We're in an ebb season, collectively, I think. And we're not encouraged to think about this at all. The effects of the pandemic, here in the UK, have been upon us for eleven months. And what’s been so surprising is how little accommodation we will often make for this. We’re living in a global tragedy – a collective trauma. Life has, necessarily, had to recede. We have had to lean hard on our internal resources – our patience, our hope, our tenacity. Understandably, we’re feeling a little depleted.

Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 
Embracing a non-diet new year - setting body positive resolutions 

The relentless treadmill of diet resolutions is about to crank itself up again, at the start of the new year. After all the festive food adverts, Boxing Day onwards will see the focus shift instead to weight loss programmes, diet foods and new ‘healthy eating’ cookbooks, sold to you by slim people. It is a predictable, exhausting cycle, which perpetuates unhealthy ‘all or nothing’ thinking, and punishing and unsustainable restriction.

A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance
A beginner’s guide to developing body acceptance

And so begins December, the month where dominant culture tends to deep-slide into a clarion call for ‘indulgence’ before, as regular as clockwork, the adverts and articles that promise ‘new year, new you’. Christmas is an exaggerated example of the pendulum swing that diet culture encourages; ricocheting between too much and not enough – all governed by a deep fear that we ourselves are not enough.

Snow policy

Dear all

Down here in the depths of Hawkhurst and Goudhurst, we are blanketed in a thick covering of snow. Sessions at The Walled Nursery today are cancelled, as the nursery is closed and Water Lane is currently ungritted, uncleared, and impassable! 

With more snow being forecast for Thursday and Friday, we'll play it by ear for sessions in Goudhurst, and will likely to have to do the same for sessions at the nursery on Saturday.

Clients are aware that I have a 48 hour cancellation policy; this is because we have both made an agreement to maintain consistency and contract throughout our sessions. It's important that we uphold this agreement, so that boundaries are reliable and we both 'know the score'. 

However, in exceptional circumstances such as snow, there is of course no charge. It is sensible for us to see what the conditions are like on the day, so it isn't possible for you to give 48 hours notice. And, If I'm not able to safely get to the session, then I can't offer your our agreed upon service; it wouldn't be ethical of me to charge for a session I couldn't attend. Our safety is the most important thing, and I don't want us to endanger ourselves by attempting to avoid a cancellation charge for circumstances out of your control.

It may be that we are able to change your appointment to later in the week, and we can organise that during our cancellation conversation; you may also wish to consider a telephone appointment instead. However, for some of you these options might not be possible or preferable, and if that is the case we will simply see each other at our next agreed session. 

As the snow clears and the roads become usable again, we will be able to safely resume contact, and return to our usual cancellation policy in our agreement.

I trust you to do what is reasonable to get to your appointment, but I don't expect you to do more than that. Stay safe.

A photo sent to me by Emma at The Walled Nursery this morning, of our lovely hut. 

A photo sent to me by Emma at The Walled Nursery this morning, of our lovely hut. 

The Walled Nursery, The Old Fire Station, SeasonsVicky Bellmansnow, policy, winterComment