When 'food freedom' sounds like a new fear

‘I was five’. ‘I was eleven’. ‘I was eight’. ‘I was fourteen’.

Some of the responses I’ve had when I ask clients with a history of diets and food restriction how old they were when they first recalled actively pursuing weight loss; often this wasn’t their decision, but a decision implemented by (usually well meaning) parents.

And so began a life of restriction and food control - one reinforced by family, mirrored by friends, upheld by social and cultural value systems, and gradually integrated into themselves until it becomes their own.

They have tried every new diet on the block - restricted sugar, restricted carbs, counted calories, counted macros, juiced, fasted, controlled, eliminated. They have been sold the idea, and bought it, that a diet represents the magic key that will unlock all their potential - a fulfilling job, a satisfying relationship, an active social life, a life enjoying exercise, dancing around on sun-drenched jetties in a red dress.

They have received support and praise for weight loss from parents, friends, colleagues, medical professionals, faith leaders, teachers, partners and lovers. They receive the ‘virtue of pursuit’ - even if their diet attempts are unsuccessful (as 98% of diets are), they receive validation for their continued commitment to weight loss.

Diets are arranged in anticipation of new schools, proms, parties, job interviews, holidays, weddings. Diets have woven their way around and through every meaningful experience; diets have become such a part of the fabric of life that they can feel as if they are tied to our very identity. For someone with a history of dieting, who they are seems to be built around the pursuit of weight loss - certainly, every formative moment of their life has been experienced in tandem with a diet.

So, often, when we explore the idea of food freedom for the first time, it can be terrifying. I know. When I mention the idea of a life of food freedom, what is understood, in the context of a life of dieting and weight loss pursuit, is a void. An identity void, a void of hope. ‘Who am I, and what’s my purpose, if I don’t have diets to guide me to a goal?’.

I know it’s radical. I know it’s counter-cultural, I know it’s new, and I know it’s scary. But I believe that a life of food freedom can be an opportunity to be the whole you that you were supposed to be. I believe you can find hope and satisfaction and value simply in an authentic life, which is all at once simple and not simple at all. It can feel intimidating to stare out at a blank canvas, and not know for sure how it’s going to play out. Truthfully, that would be the same in a smaller body too, and diets lie to us when they sell us the fantasy of secured happiness and a lifetime of laughing into salads. But balanced with the fear of the unknown is the potential of what’s to come, and I love to support you as we imagine your potential together.